Unfathomed delight

Is this just what it seems to be?
Or just another mirage, for my soul wants to loiter,
To stray; easy and free.
Against the odds, the conventions, the fears
Working is the hither struggling device
Is this not just another moment
In which my logic dies?

Not has been a moment of remorse
That I had seemed to bear in this course,
For I have looked upon everything
Just as a necessary price…
For lessons are to be learned, to be cherished, to bloom
And for that, this is a device.

© Snehal Sahay 2014

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Threads of destiny

http://http://www.google.co.in/imgres?um=1&sa=N&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=677&tbm=isch&tbnid=TQJ_1mDcj-Xc7M:&imgrefurl=http://www.indiancolleges.com/education-news/BHU-UET-2013-Exam-dates/3538&docid=A4lm5TCF9p-idM&imgurl=http://im1.indiancolleges.com/uploaded_images/article/A-Portrait-Of-A-Mixed-Race-College-Student-At-Campus-348_348X261.jpg&w=348&h=261&ei=GzqOUe3EFsOrrAfjh4HICA&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:0,s:0,i:81&iact=rc&dur=597&page=1&tbnh=194&tbnw=259&start=0&ndsp=15&tx=116&ty=130

Threads of destiny

bound together with me

 and you

magical

our history

still continues

but remains silent-

static

never ending

yet murmuring

waiting

for a new beginning…

 

(C) 2013

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Existence

 

courtesy Google

courtesy Google

 

 

Threads of destiny

Bound together, mystery

Remains their existence

Their relevance

 

Their reality

My identity

Can they bear together-

Individuality with fate?

 

What is my reality?

Purpose or providence?

What is my future?

My toil or thy dominance?

 

What is my existence?

 

© 2013 Snehal sahay

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Enjoy the paradox! 

 

Darkness of the doom

The Hummingbird

The Hummingbird (Photo credit: .craig)

 

 

The night is so dark and deep

That sometimes even the angels freak;

Shut their eyes and clutch their faces,

Hiding somewhere in their blossoms

Their gentle identities…

 

The night is so dark and deep….

 

The mystic aura of the unknown rising

Sometimes growing, sometimes hiding

The later bothers more than the former

The nightmare ruining their momentary please;

Their gentle identities…

 

The night is so dark and deep….

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

©2013 SNEHAL SAHAY

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

 

 

 

Unknown, unseen, unsolved

imagesCA9WFDIG

Unknown remains my identity

Unseen remains my passion

Unspoken remains my words

Unsolved remains my equation…

 

Always “made” my heart leap

When a new “doll” you got

Never did I cease to learn

When a new irrelevant lesson you taught…

 

Still involuntary, you knotted me

Into your beastly wrongs and rights

Still you enforced trapping me

Into your unearthly world of frights…

 

I still never looked right

Into your eyes, as you told

I was irrelevant when young

I remained the same when I got old…

 

Never did my eyes learned glow

When it saw the rain

Never did my words unrestricted flow

When it did severely pain…

 

I never asked a question. Never

Spoke against your will

Never lived “my” life here

Nonetheless cherished your still…

 

I never knew what it was that pained

I never got what you did gain

Out of these enormous extraneous feats

But I was wrong for all wrongs, I admit…

 

I never knew, I never needed to

I was eternally told

Rules are rules, “feminine” and strong

Prolonged and old…

 

I kept my head down

My voice discreet

My face someone’s personnel

My dreams, not for me…

 

 

Unknown remained my identity

Unseen remained my passion

Unspoken remained my words

Unsolved remained my equation…

 

And all it happened for the reason that

(As I was recapped, night and day)

I got infected via “feminity” before birth

In which sadly, I had no say…

 

[Note : Feminity is a virus that tells you “you are disgusting, rubbish, inauspicious etc.”]

 

 =======================

Thanks for being a part of my paradox! 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Delhi case on fire…

Image

My pen is silent these days. I do not feel like writing or doing any such sort of business … the silence has surrounded me.

The silence and the shame.

The guilt.

 

Worthless. Worthless is my existence.

 

A 23 year old girl was brutally raped and assaulted in Delhi, and is suffering the worst…a situation I can never imagine…neither want to… who would?

And I’m silent. Just quiet.

My pen is immovable.

 

Not that I don’t want to speak…but I don’t know what to speak.

 

There are too many things I want to say but my emotions drown my words. I break down every time I speak. My fingers tremble.

My eyes cloud.

I’m having nightmares.

I cry without a reason.

 

Is this what a girl is made for? To be trashed? To be assaulted? To be raped?

Since the time a girl is born, she faces discrimination. Every girl.

Yes, every one of them.

 

Some take it as a fate and live happily ever after. Some don’t and still live.

The we learn the “golden rules of girlhood”. The superior/inferior business.

More than half of the girls never take a decision of their lives by themselves….but leave it.

Come to the point.

 

Rape.

 

Why is the word so “prejudiced”?

Why do the criminals only get much to much “7 years imprisonment”?

Why are we so “ashamed” in discussing it?

How can someone give an “invitation”?

How are the victim’s clothes responsible?

How is the time of the day responsible?

HOW IS THE GIRL RESPONSIBLE?

 

Does/Can a random person do these brutish things? Can you do it?

 

Heaven’s sake these questions did not burn loud this time, because the crime was …. don’t think we have a right word for it.  The world’s whole curse can’t would be less.

 

Delhi is burning with marches, revolts and protests. People are working. Media is working. Police is working. We are working.

Image

Where were we when it could be stopped?

 

Just telling you in one sentence, if the girl was wearing a “skirt” or something, she would be blamed half the time.

Yes. This is the reality.

Our world’s reality.

 

Bloody hell….

 

Tomorrow, another piece of news will flood the channels.

These marches will stop. These forces will scatter. These tweets, blogs will end. The fields would be empty.

If she survives, all she would get is worthless pity.

 

Worthless? No. it will make her life worse than now.

 

When I heard the news, I said to my best friend, “I wish she makes it out…god bless her…”

She gravely replied, “It would be better if she dies….or she will die each moment she lives….she will be a living corpse…”

 

I was shocked, but somewhat agreed too. I didn’t want her to die, but even couldn’t think of a good happy life after this.

 

I read yesterday, “she wants to live…”.

 

It struck to me. I am mentally slapping myself every second for agreeing ever to my friend a bit.

Who am I to decide or even think/discuss whether she has a happy life or not?  Who are we?

 

 

I salute that girl.

 

I just pray she lives a long and happy life. She lives, not just survives.

Her intestines might never let her have food in her whole life. She would rely on liquid, if she makes it out. These thoughts might never leave her. Those shadows might haunt her.

 

But I pray to god, she MUST live. Live for her dreams, for ours too.

 

 Why do these things ever happen? Why?

“Cant men have a sense?”

 

I have heard and seen people saying/holding boards saying Teach your sons to respect, not rape”.

True.

 I have seen boys boiling about it. “All boys are not rapists.”

 

True, but some definitely are. A rotten apple rots all.

 

Can’t we do something? Shouldn’t we?

 

NO. WE MUST.

 

I see a very drastic situation in the future, a very drastic…when there will be riots.

Sounds dramatic?

I don’t say who will win, who will lose, for only inhumanity wins a riot. But if this doesn’t stop, those won’t stop either.

 

For when tolerance breaks…patience breaks…lives break.

 

Just wish things get under control before time takes its toll….

 

 

Is there a way out? Humanity is losing hope….

 

 

Do you have a hope?

 Another important question, what is the suitable  punishment for such a crime?

Image

Is there one?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vents of my life

 

 xxxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, I realize,

 

How much I have wasted,

How many tears I have shed,

How many nights I have cried,

How many feelings were bribed,

How many moments I have wasted,

For those uncaring souls

Who never ever mattered

Or needed to…

 

 

Sometimes I realize,

 

How much it did pain,

How useless was the gain,

How endless it did rain

How much I tried to be sane,

When life could have been crazy,

But I didn’t let it be free

For those things that never much mattered

But needed to…

 

Sometimes I realize,

 

How many vents I left unfilled…

How many depths I felt on a hill

How many smiles I forgot to smile

How I ran endlessly on the mile

When I could have rested

Let others be tested

For those whom I never mattered

But needed to…

 

 

Sometimes I do

Sometimes I need to….

 

 

 

© 2012

 

————————>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Thanks for being with me in my journey through this paradox!

Love you all!

 

Remain entangled,

Enjoy our paradox!