Entangled in paradox

While turning the pages of my diary, a piece of paper caught my eye. I pulled it out and found it to be a note,

“I too didn’t do the homework yaar…just forgot to do it…..

These teachers give so much of work man….

I just wish the bell rings before she gets to my desk…cross my fingers….

If not, I am going to go to the sick room and say I have fever or stomach upset…

What are your plans???”


A tear spilled from my eye and ruffled on my cheek and I smiled. T hose beautiful days of schooling  flashed back.

How stupid were they?!

Not doing the homework and then waiting like a sheep there to get slaughtered! And persuading God to make the peon ring the bell!

Just nodding your head during the whole class, to prove the teacher that you are paying attention, even if you don’t get anything! And then she accidentally asks a question and then…! The embarrassing moment!

Your friends making you laugh when you read something to the class…those stupid, “hell! No! Control!” moments!

Passing chits to just say a “hi” and then getting involved in a full time gossips and threatening our partners to pass the chits, or else….!!!

Giving “unearthly” names to the teachers, and then using them so often, that we forget their real ones!  And then, mistakenly using them during the projects!!! Woof!

Eating a chewing gum in the class and getting caught! The full time show.

The eagerness to see the chits you get to pass, the craziness to eat our friend’s lunch, and the nervousness of getting the exam’s marks. And not to forget, after every problem, promising yourself you will never do it again and then-hah!!!   😀


Well, first benchers will never get this, sorry. They just lost a living.


But these memories just wash away themselves, or better say we forget them, busy in the present and future. Just never get time to recall and recollect these sweet fruitful memories of ours, when our work remained incomplete till the last minute, but life didn’t. When getting punished did hurt, but not for long. When we were not serious, but sincere, in some ways.


I just closed my eyes for a minute, left myself to the memories. Let myself get entangled in paradox for a moment, being “in the past, at present”.


Who says past always hurts?

It doesn’t, always.


Hey everyone! First of all, thanks for being here. I hope it wasn’t the waste of your time.

Thanks. Please comment/rate/follow/ or whatever. I m a human and it’s humane to do mistakes. I really regret if there’s any.

Please shower on  me your precious views, so I can make myself better. Please.


Snehal Sahay




A child’s encounter to the real world…
I stood there and looked at them as they screamed and cried at each other. I couldn’t understand anything. Aunt screamed on Mumma and Mumma just cried and replied arely. They just screamed and screamed. Uncle too said something harshly, but it was above my understanding level.

I looked at Shreya di. She just stood in a corner wide eyed and afraid of the trauma which was going on. They all just madly cried at each other and screamed. Mumma said something but under her breath…no one could get it.

The bell rang and we ran to it and opened the door. Daddy stood there.
“Chocolates for you, angels..!!!” he said handling one to both of us,”What happend dear?what’s this commotion?” he asked me.
“Don’t know…Uncle and Aunt are shouting, Mumma is crying….” I said thinking.
“What happened Shreya?” he asked Di.
“They are fighting….I don’t know…..” She replied hesitatingly, fidgeting with her skirt plates. Daddy ran to the room. We went there back and stood near the door. He talked with everyone , but they shouted.

“Di, why are they fighting?” I asked Shreya.
“Don’t know….I am small na…I think their dolls broke….” she said thinking.
“But Mumma doesn’t have a doll. She is big naa..Big people don’t play with dolls…” I said.
I had a point.
“May be they had one or two…I dont know…” she said arguing.
“But you are elder…I am 5, you are 7…you should know….” I struck out my tongue .
“ohoooo!!! leave it….you always behave smart.” she said opening her choclate wrapper.
‘Because I am….” I said with pride.
“Shreya, Sneha…go to your rooms…we’ll call you when dinner is ready…” Daddy said in a strict tone.
“Ohk.” We replied in union.
“Wait Shreya! Where did you get this choclate from? Give it to me….” Aunt said taking it away and threw it on the floor. “I gave it to her….” Daddy said in a high pitched voice. And they started screaming again.
I looked at Shreya di. She looked miserable. Tears filled her eyes ready to pop out any instant. I really felt bad.
“Di, don’t cry…..I’ll share with you….half half…” I said wiping away her tears.
“But you love chocolates…” she replied tearfully.
“So what? We are sisters naa? We can share….Mumma says sharing is a good manner..”

Everyone stopped shouting and looked at us. Now what have we done???
“Shreya, go to your room…” Uncle said.
We went to her room but uncle stopped me. “Sneha, you go to your room and study a bit….Shreya di will study too…”
“But I studied and di studied too… just now…”
“Just go to your rooms….” Uncle screamed.
My heart shaked as if thunder fell on me. It was the first time ever he went mad at me…he loved me soo much always…..I cried. Di held me.
“Sneha, go baby, play tommorrow….” Daddy said stoking my hair.
“But I want to play now, its not night….just 6…” I said in my cries.
“Just go!!!!” he shouted. I shiverd and cried even more. What has happend to them all?
“Why are you all shouting at her?” Di cried with me,”When we fight, we don’t shout at you…”
“You say it’s bad to fight…God becomes angry..and the bad man takes us away to the forest….but you are fighting yourseleves…you threw di’s choclate even….and you say we should not waste food. If your doll is broken, share it together and daddy can bring a new one tommorrow when he returns from his office……ok na Daddy?” I asked looking at him.

“Yes angel. but now, both of you go and rest….ok?” He took my hand and uncle  took Shreya di to our rooms. But I remembered something and ran back…
“Di…..your chocolate…….good night, and don’t cry..ok?” I kissed her and went back.

We never ate together after that, don’t know why….but they all
 fought many more times.
But god didn’t punish them for fighting! The bad man didn’t take them away to the forest. Why??? May be he must be fighting with someone too. Everyone is bad.
But Shreya di is good and me too. But we don’t play together now. Aunt doesn’t let her. She says I m bad… am I?

You know why the world is so “selfish”? Because we don’t have any morals. Morals lack, because the people who give them to us, don’t  themselves believe in them. Our childhood lessons just last till there. And we just don’t know, when a slight selfish action of ours,
just ruins the mental state or sometimes even the life live of an innocent.
But who cares?
We don’t. Right?