Dreams in a cage

My dreams, my aspirations

All shed in tears

My plight, my life

All cold in fear

Some thousand dreamless nights I have had

For some thousand passing days here

My dreams, my aspirations

All shed in tears

For a step to take

There is a war to fight

For a smile to release

A treaty of might

Some thousand wicked souls I have fought

Since every passing day here

My dreams, my aspirations

All shed in tears…

©2013 snehal sahay

 

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Raavan and Rapists? No way!

The ignorant speeches of politicians, and then, a “sorry, it was a mistake…but I am correct” news, and Khap’s “colorful” judgments are in full form these days.

Reading the newspaper today, I came across this statement about women…

VijayVargiya, a minister in M.P. stated,

 

“Agar aurato ne lakshman rekha langhi, to Raavan same hoga….unhe maryada me rehna chahiye…”

(If women cross their limits, then they will be in danger…things will happen. They should remain in their limits…)

 

After his party found it a threat he “corrected it”

 

“Aurato ko ,maryada me rehna chahiye, agar ve maryada me rahengi, to samaj me vikriti nahi aa saktii…maryada ka ulanghan hone pe sitaharan hoga, aur Ravan saamne kahada milega…”

(Women should be in their limits, if they remain in their limits, then society will not rot…crossing their limits, they will be kidnapped…they will find Ravans  (ie, here, Rapists) infront of them…)

Is this CORRECTION??? o_O

 

sss3

 

Now, Sita! One of the most unfortunate girl/women in our history of Hinduism…

 

She went with her husband RAMA on Vanvaas (14 years of exile in a forest) and was kidnapped by the demon king “Ravana”(in the absence of her husband Rama and brother in law Laxmana, who made a “rekha” or line across the cottage of theirs, and asked her not to come out) who wanted to marry Sita, but for some sad reasons, wasn’t able to.

So now, then she lived in a garden called “Ashok Vatika” for time being.

Now what comes up? She remained there, and was later rescued by Lord Rama and his Vanar sena(Army of monkeys)  later.

 

So, our minister sir told our women, that they would find a “Ravana” outside her limits.

So Mr. Minister,

 

1.     Sita is an ancient lady. Too old a tale to connect to. And no one would take it as an example except Hindus. So…huh!

 

2.     Now, we don’t have brother-in-laws like Laxman. (even not brothers always)
 
It would be fine to all girls here, if they found a “Ravana” as such. Ravana didn’t EVEN TOUCH Sita WITHOUT HER CONSENT. In short, he did nothing more than kidnapping, and giving her a comfy treatment.
 

4.     Yes, by the way all men are following “Rama’s” principal here. Rama asked Sita to go through an “Agni Pariksha”(Standing on a burning pyre to prove her purity) because she had spent time in Ravana’s house. She had to prove her innocence. (HER????)  He took her home only after that.

(Would he have left her if she didn’t prove???)

ss2 

5.     After returning to his empire, he sent exiled a pregnant Sita, because someone said, “Our ruler keeps a WOMAN in his house who has spent months in a “GAIR MARAD’S HOUSE” i.e., “unknown man’s home”. Our books say, he did that as a ruler (his duties were higher than his emotions for family). Sorry, but don’t understand how “punishing an innocent” was his “DUTY FOR COUNTRY”.  
It just shows what the value of a woman is in our patriarchal society. Worse than a dog.

 

(I personally would like to live in the house of Ravana than Rama. Atleast I have some respect there, right?)

So, I don’t understand the concept of this speech by Mr. VijayVargiya.

Truth is, our society is dumb.

When we cant/don’t want to do something, we blame the victims, the innocent ones.

 

“Sir, this girl is bullying me..”
“What a boy are you to get bullied by a girl! Shame! 

Go away…”“Inspector, I was jogging in the park, and someone 
pushed me down and took my wallet…”
“You know him?”
“No sir…I was not looking…he came from behind...”
“Not paying attention to your surroundings and 
complaining…why did you need to jog this early in the
 morning? Huh!”


“Mumma…these boys are always stalking me…”
“Wear more those tight skinny jeans, wear skirts….
what else will happen?...”
“But I was wearing salwaar….”
“Don’t answer me back…why do you go out after 
the dusk…”


Etc.

 

 

What beautiful society we live in, right? Nobody tells his boys not to disrespect girls? Nobody raises them to help women if they are at trouble, alone? Nobody tells them, they are a part of society, equal?

Nobody tells them women are living beings, not materials?

Nobody, not even mothers normally.

 

 

Any Hindus here offended? Sorry…but its my point of view, and many others… you are welcomed to share yours.

 

But hey! Comparing Rapists, molesters to Ravana? No way….

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A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

 

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dlhi1

 

 

 

 

 

Tips on how to stop the rapists

Through a rapist’s eyes

 

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

 

ü The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

 

ü The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

 

ü They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

 

ü The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.

 

ü The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

 

ü The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

 

ü Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence, but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

 

ü If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

 

ü These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

 

ü Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk, “I can’t believe it is so cold out here,” “we’re in for a bad winter.” Now you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.

 

ü If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell “Stop or Stay back!” Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

 

ü If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

 

ü If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands – the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

 

ü After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

 

ü When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

 

ü Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

PLEASE READ THEN FORWARD THIS TO ANY WOMAN YOU KNOW, OR TO GUYS THAT HAVE A WIFE, DAUGHTER, OR GIRLFRIEND. IT’S SIMPLE STUFF THAT COULD SAVE HER LIFE.

 

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Stumbled through this while goggling. 

Content and Image Courtesy: Google. 

 

 

Tips on how to stop the rapists

The Delhi case on fire…

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My pen is silent these days. I do not feel like writing or doing any such sort of business … the silence has surrounded me.

The silence and the shame.

The guilt.

 

Worthless. Worthless is my existence.

 

A 23 year old girl was brutally raped and assaulted in Delhi, and is suffering the worst…a situation I can never imagine…neither want to… who would?

And I’m silent. Just quiet.

My pen is immovable.

 

Not that I don’t want to speak…but I don’t know what to speak.

 

There are too many things I want to say but my emotions drown my words. I break down every time I speak. My fingers tremble.

My eyes cloud.

I’m having nightmares.

I cry without a reason.

 

Is this what a girl is made for? To be trashed? To be assaulted? To be raped?

Since the time a girl is born, she faces discrimination. Every girl.

Yes, every one of them.

 

Some take it as a fate and live happily ever after. Some don’t and still live.

The we learn the “golden rules of girlhood”. The superior/inferior business.

More than half of the girls never take a decision of their lives by themselves….but leave it.

Come to the point.

 

Rape.

 

Why is the word so “prejudiced”?

Why do the criminals only get much to much “7 years imprisonment”?

Why are we so “ashamed” in discussing it?

How can someone give an “invitation”?

How are the victim’s clothes responsible?

How is the time of the day responsible?

HOW IS THE GIRL RESPONSIBLE?

 

Does/Can a random person do these brutish things? Can you do it?

 

Heaven’s sake these questions did not burn loud this time, because the crime was …. don’t think we have a right word for it.  The world’s whole curse can’t would be less.

 

Delhi is burning with marches, revolts and protests. People are working. Media is working. Police is working. We are working.

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Where were we when it could be stopped?

 

Just telling you in one sentence, if the girl was wearing a “skirt” or something, she would be blamed half the time.

Yes. This is the reality.

Our world’s reality.

 

Bloody hell….

 

Tomorrow, another piece of news will flood the channels.

These marches will stop. These forces will scatter. These tweets, blogs will end. The fields would be empty.

If she survives, all she would get is worthless pity.

 

Worthless? No. it will make her life worse than now.

 

When I heard the news, I said to my best friend, “I wish she makes it out…god bless her…”

She gravely replied, “It would be better if she dies….or she will die each moment she lives….she will be a living corpse…”

 

I was shocked, but somewhat agreed too. I didn’t want her to die, but even couldn’t think of a good happy life after this.

 

I read yesterday, “she wants to live…”.

 

It struck to me. I am mentally slapping myself every second for agreeing ever to my friend a bit.

Who am I to decide or even think/discuss whether she has a happy life or not?  Who are we?

 

 

I salute that girl.

 

I just pray she lives a long and happy life. She lives, not just survives.

Her intestines might never let her have food in her whole life. She would rely on liquid, if she makes it out. These thoughts might never leave her. Those shadows might haunt her.

 

But I pray to god, she MUST live. Live for her dreams, for ours too.

 

 Why do these things ever happen? Why?

“Cant men have a sense?”

 

I have heard and seen people saying/holding boards saying Teach your sons to respect, not rape”.

True.

 I have seen boys boiling about it. “All boys are not rapists.”

 

True, but some definitely are. A rotten apple rots all.

 

Can’t we do something? Shouldn’t we?

 

NO. WE MUST.

 

I see a very drastic situation in the future, a very drastic…when there will be riots.

Sounds dramatic?

I don’t say who will win, who will lose, for only inhumanity wins a riot. But if this doesn’t stop, those won’t stop either.

 

For when tolerance breaks…patience breaks…lives break.

 

Just wish things get under control before time takes its toll….

 

 

Is there a way out? Humanity is losing hope….

 

 

Do you have a hope?

 Another important question, what is the suitable  punishment for such a crime?

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Is there one?