It has been 16 years of our relationship-you and me. 16 years of compromising-fighting, debating and then finding that nothing can be done. 16 years are nothing petite – I have known you better each minute, each second, but still- I don’t understand you, neither I care to.
Each moment passes like an year.
It is you who holds my hand all the day and you who envelopes me all long the night-only you. My sight, my feelings, my aura -everything is yours by mandate – every known and unknown.
I won’t lie – I want to flee away from you – so

mewhere really far…but my destiny binds me. Where ever I go, I find you.
No-it isn’t love. It never will be.
They say you are my destiny, thus I have tried to be devoted to you, but never could.
No one can, no one will.
How can anyone, how can I? It’s you who eats my soul all the day and curses my dreams each night…you have taken my everything away from me – even my shadow……

I want to be free-can’t you get this? 16 years of our relationship, and you took away my everything – and I got simply nothing. My each breath struggles to be free; my each drop of blood yearns…
I have spent my nights crying in a nutshell and my days wearing a disguise of life. Why should I carry on? Why?
I didn’t choose you. What right do you have to rule on my life?
No, I am ending this finally- I am ending your unobstructed glory. I know, it will pain a lot, but I don’t care.
Some flashing strokes of light are knocking my door.

Yes, I am getting my colorful world back. I am getting my eyes back! Our 16 years of relation is going to end.
Yes, this is happening…finally, end of your tyranny.
Finally- after 16 years…
Adios darkness, I am engaging with colors…
I can see everything…i can see light!
Your rule ends…happy demise…
©2013 Snehal Sahay

This post is contributed to TRIFECTA WRITING CHALLENGE.


LIGHT (noun)

Visit this site to know more!


Excess of excess



Courtesy : Google

Courtesy : Google

Excess of light

Causes fringes around


Is caused by excess of sound

Excess of love;

Blindly possessive it makes

Excess of learning;

Life spirit it takes…


Excess of everything

Is wicked for sure

One never pauses

Asking for more

Overflow of life

Is run-off of death

Desire for excess

Leads to existence of dread…



©2013 snehal sahay


No more life



Dark crimson


Some black

Some bluish pigments

Spots she had.


She lied there






The reason of her

Such state,


In her

Solid cold bones.


Her pink turned black lips

Her brown caramel eyes

Her breathless









Reason of her

Present state,



Only some dripping hot blood


That before a while

She was movable


Worth guessed





No one knows

No one guesses

No one feels

No one shows

No one tries

No one wants

No one does

No one does know


No one



Except that

She will never return




© 2012



This post was an answer to the daily prompt, “” ie, copying your favorite blogger style of writing! Woof! Cool right?

Not likely. Trying to imitate someone, but not losing your own style, however, your style must not overlap your inspirations…Woof! Too much to handle!

So, one of my favorites and the one who I never though I could copy, the free verse writer  THE NAUGHTY POET, ( is imitated here by me . Hope its not too bad. Would love to hear from my inspiration himself, as well as my lovely friends.



Thank you!



How uncertain is death?

its my diary, 1 march, 2011

“How uncertain is death?

You just turn around and look at the ground

to tend to know, you are dead?

You raise your hands, and play the bands,

And sing and dance. And then dead?

And shout and frown, and miss the sound,

And come to know you are dead?

Such uncertain is death. Oh lord!

Such uncertain is death!??



I wrote these words on the day, the day I missed someone close and never got her back, and they mean a lot to me….a lot. I don’t care others like it or not.

They day passed and left me with the most disastrous and painful memories I ever had in my life. Two years  have passed almost, and I m 17 now, but I still shake when I remember her. She must have been 23 or something if she was…. My heart still stiffens and pains…


I still remember you di, I will always. Why is life so uncertain? Why does death  not come with a 5 day time? We could be prepared and at least meet all, all who we love and care. Why does it has to happen? Why?


The day, 2 years ago. . . . . . .


“Get up dear, get up………” My mother’s voice cooed in my ears.

“Mumma, 5 minutes more…” I moaned getting under my covers.

“Get up sweetie…its time…and your board exams are on Monday… Hun….get up…” She stroked my hair.

“Just 5 minutes….5 minutes…please…” I pleaded.

“Please get up now…there’s something important sweetie, get up…” she said sweetly.

“Ugh….” I cried and got inside my covers and cried.

I was almost awake. Hell this morning. It’s so unlucky!

Wait! Mumma is waking me without a temper? What the hell? Am I ok? Or may be I dreaming?

Is it my birthday? Nah! March has just got on today…25 days to go…

Then what?

I got up and sat down, my mother was dressed. I looked at the clock,”5:23”.

“Why are you dressed up at this time? Where are you going?” I inquired.

I was getting the feeling that something was wrong. My inner self told me, something is definitely very wrong.

“Look Hun, don’t be hyper, just be calmed ohk? You can’t do anything and…what has happened has happened…” mumma started, which made me more hyperactive.

She carried it on and I almost screamed when she said, “Dear, Ridhi expired…”

Expired? What does she mean? I mean hell her for saying such a thing.

“Are you mad?” I cried at her and let out hundred more cries, “its impossible…I met her just a week before or less…no….noo……she is not dead…she cant be….nooo………..”

I fell back on my bed and wailed and screamed as if some tsunami attacked me. Mumma said things but I couldn’t hear anything or see anything except my own lamentations and cries. Never thought the morning could come with such news.

I cried and cried until my voice chocked and I fell somewhat numb. I could feel just  nothing. Nothing.

Someone made me drink something, water probably, and I lied there grief stricken. Empty.

My heart pinched like a hundred swords and my mind, couldn’t work. Felt as if I was in coma.

I heard people talking, but saw nothing.


They carried on and I felt more miserable. My heart burst with pain. Never felt such pain in my life before, never lost a close one before….and what? I was just 15…just 15, and she? She was 20, and…dead?

Noo. No……… God can’t be that cruel. No.

I cried out with all the strength I had. I wailed and flung up and fell down my bed.

Mumma came running and held me against her and patted me.

“Mumma…she cant be…she is not….she….tell na…say she isn’t….” I cried over and over. I knew it was true, but I wanted to hear it wasn’t.

She scooted me.

“I m going to see her, and Suchi you rest…” She said.

“No…I will come with you…I want to see her too…she died? How? Where? And why? Noo……I want to see her..” I said under my sobs.

“No you are not coming, aunt will tell you everything, but for now, you rest, you need rest..” she urged and patted me.

I fell down to deep slumber in a moment. I had already spent all my energy in wailing and crying…I needed sleep.

Sweet sleep.

I didn’t eat anything the whole day, how does it matter? It doesn’t. no.

She was my second cousin, but we were close. Hell close. I don’t know any of her secrets, but I knew what I did, that she wanted to work. Wanted to get a job. Wanted to be independent. Wanted to live.

 She is just like the others?  Whats the difference? The difference is, “she is dead”. Dead at 21. Just 21. Mere 21?


My cousin came to my house and just sat there without a word. I looked at him, he didn’t cry.

No. He just looked at his hands once and then the sky. Thought something, and then made his hands like a “what”.

Did the thing for an hour or so. I just looked at him and cried even more. I wanted to help him, console him, but…

I couldn’t…I couldn’t stop my tears even…they just flowed and flowed and flowed like they would never cease….

I wanted to talk to someone, but each time I opened my mouth, a wail came out…

I was helpless myself, just…a nobody. I sinister. A hell…



Don’t know how to end it…I wrote it how it actually happened, so let me end it like it should…

Miss you Ridhi di, may your soul rest in peace.

Love you.


Hey! This was one close to my heart…give  me feedback. Please. ❤

But actually, I dont care much about it this time. My heart just pains and eyes still rain remmembering her.

Why does it has to happen? Why?

Whatever, thanks for  reading,

Snehal Sahay.  😥